Jeez - I'm Gone for a Month and Now The Russkies are Coming!

So when are we airlifting Swayze and Sheen into Tblisi to take care of these Commie bastards already?

Not to make light of the situation - there's nothing funny about bombs being dropped on people - but, I'm having the strangest sense of deja vu from my childhood:

1. Nasty-grams sent amongst Russian and U.S. Officials: Check

2. Political demagoguery about "foreign oil", but doing zip about it: Check

3. Day-glo wearing hipster-douchebags (not the 1981 L.A. version, but the 2008 NYC version): Check

4. And then there's this atrocity:

But back to my two minute rant about our current Cold-War flashback. It is truly wondrous to watch how "surprised" everyone is acting about the Russian-Georgian conflict. Everyone on all sides knew this was coming, i.e. knew that:

- Russia had been poking at the Georgians for years now;

- Georgia had been poking back;

- Russia, flush with petro-cash, would soon become bold enough to not just poke, but punch;

- Georgia had co opted the U.S. enough, through its participation in the Iraq cluster-f*!k, to get a little uppity;

- Russia would accurately surmise that the U.S., because of the above noted cluster-f*!k and a desperate need to keep oil below $1000 a barrel, wasn't going to do much.

So my question is, if everyone in the foreign affairs world knew this was coming, why was there precious little done to avert it?

Well, that appears to be the most tangled web of all.

You could argue that this makes Russia a huge winner: the Mother Bear gets to flex her regional muscles, deter further NATO expansion, tighten her grip on C. Asia's energy supplies, and generally shove its way back on the global stage.

You could just as easily argue that Georgia will ultimately get what it wants - no, really. The U.S. now realizes it has to actively stick its nose into the Caucuses to ensure its interests in the BTC pipeline, Caspian oil/gas fields, etc. are secure; U.S. troops are showing up to conduct humanitarian relief, but may just end up being part of a "international peacekeeping force. thus Georgia gets the security it was looking for, but never going to get through NATO previously; plus Saakashvili now gets to look like a hero to his people.

What you can't argue is that this is good for the U.S. - we were completely played by both sides.

To all my peeps at State Dept. - keep your chins up! Someday you'll have people in charge who know what the hell they're doing!

Rant complete...

BEWARE: Your Food is Coming to Kill You During the 7th Inning Stretch

The end of the world is nigh'! You need proof? The Seattle Times has it:

Buy me some peanuts and cracker jacks?

Not in sections 311 and 312 at Safeco Field on Aug. 5 and Sept. 9. Those will be peanut-

controlled zones on those days, the Mariners announced this week, cleaned thoroughly

the night before and all peanut products will be banned on those games. Peanut products

will not be sold at nearby concession stands. Tickets will be $10 each for those days.

It is estimated 12 million people in the U.S. have food allergies, about one-quarter of

them children. The incidence of peanut allergies among children doubled over the five-

year period from 1997 to 2002, according to the Food Allergy & Anaphylaxis Network.

And lest you think this is just some namby-pamby, overprotective, warm and fuzzy Seattle thing, the Cards and Twins have jumped on board as well.

So it's come to this: I may soon no longer have the simple pleasure of watching a ball-game and dumping piles of peanut shells on the guy sitting one row below me? How did this happen?!

Perhaps if we took a moment to look at our disinfected, anti-bacterial, synthetic clothed, poly-sorbate 60 filled, peanut oil fried, corn syrup drenched life-style, we might realize that a number of our technological "marvels" are no biting us in the proverbial ass1 No I do not profess to be an epidimiologist, allergist, or any other manner of "ist", so I have no evidence to back up my wild claims. But this is the Internet damnit, so facts be damned!

I'm just supremely sad for Mr. Peanut...

Jesse Jackson: Black-balled?

New Jesse vs. Old Jesse



I'm not going to comment on the ridiculousness of this; the blathering talking heads "Will this help Obama with white folks?" / "Will Jesse be invited to the convention?" / "Was this a FOX News conspiracy?"; or the not-so-shocking nature of the comments, given Rev. Jackson's prior off-the-cuff remarks (Hymietown) and long-standing reputation of being a bit of an a#sh*l!.

This is just a reminder that before he became a caricature of himself, the good Reverend could deliver a powerful speech.

Buns and Guns in Beirut - Maybe Just a Little Too Soon?

Just a few thoughts:

- Would it have a "drive thru" or a "drive by"?

- If you spill ketchup on the table, do they call a "medic" to clean it up?

- How would you determine if there was a "hostile workplace environment"?

So many more bad puns... so little space on the page...

Maybe this is a turning point of some sort? Gallows humor + crass materialism = people realizing the ridiculousness of blowing each other up for all of eternity?

I Wanted to Hate Nader For this Soooo Much

In the interests of full disclosure, I voted Nader in 2000 (no, not in Florida; I voted in DC where my vote had all the import of an ice cube in the Sahara).

I've always respected his single-mindedness and willingness to speak truth to power. That said, when I saw the "he talks white" blurb posted all over the Net, I figured the old crank had finally gone over the cliff.

However... when you actually listen to what Ralph says, there's more than a drop of truth. I do get the sense that Obama does self censor and as impressive as his "small donor" fund-raising is, we all know that those aren't just auto mechanics and college kids sending in $20 a piece.

Say Hi to Uncle Dave for Me

I will leave the sentimental bs eulogies to George Carlin for others. He was an ornery SOB and probably would have hated all of the glowing tributes being laid at his feet.

I'll simply say that I'm glad I got to see him perform before he passed, and I don't think I fully appreciated what a great riff this was when he performed it - but I sure do now.

A Clearly Horrible Person(?)

Just to be clear "the truly horrible person" is this photo is apparently Scott McClellan.

Not that I don't think the man is a weasel on many levels - dude, nobody goes to work in the WhiteHouse press office as an "idealist", come off it already.

That said, listening to the esteemed Rep. Lamar Smith (R - TX), you'd think ol' Scottie-boy might just be the bastard love-child of Satan and Osama.



I seriously need to check out the constituents this guy represents. I know Austin falls in this district, so clearly they are not his target demographic, but who the f*@! would actually elect this jackass?

Sigh...

Can You Dig It? The Best New Utterly Useless and Thus Completely Necessary iPod Accessory

In my continuing quest to be one of those annoying Apple evangelicals - yes I'm already scoping out the right people to bribe to get my hands on a 3G iPhone - I have come upon yet another cool-ass iPod product.

Thus, I give you.... "The Ghettopod Blaster"!!

(that's my politically un-correct nickname, mind you. They call it a "boom-box", but we know the deal)

Note: Does not come with cardboard square, headband, or cassette tape of EPMD's "Strictly Business"

Gotta go... time to hit up Netflix for "Do the Right Thing"

Hot Fun in the Summertime: Musical Edition

Drumroll please... (sorry, no sound effects - you'll have to put on your imagination hat to hear the drums).

Its now time for my semi-annual, scientifically tested, completely un-biased, FDA-approved round-up of all things musical thus far in 2008.

Top Albums of 2008 thus far:

1. The Black Keys, Attack and Release

Strange Times



2. Death Cab for Cutie, Narrow Stairs

I Will Possess Your Heart



3. Opeth, Watershed

Porcelain Heart



4. Radiohead, In Rainbows (sort of 2008, if you don't count the on-line bit)

Jigsaw Falling Into Place



5. Del da Funky Homosapien, 11th Hour

Bubble Pop



6. Tokyo Police Club, Elephant Shell

In A Cave



7. The Roots, Rising Down

Get Busy


8. R.E.M., Accelerate

Supernatural Superserious




9. Cut Copy, In Ghost Colors

Lights and Music

Cheney to the American Public: Tough S*@!

In the inimitable words of Jeff Spicoli: "You Dick!!"


This just came to mind as I listened to the replay of our VP at the National Press Club yesterday.

Here's the transcript.

Here's Dick expounding on the high esteem in which he holds the American public:

"That's... I suppose, one of the reasons we have limited terms, and why we go through that process every four years... entrust those you've elected to govern and hold them accountable at the next election."

I'd make this analogy to Dick's reasoning and see if it makes sense to you:

Say you go out and buy a car. The car maker and the dealer say its the safest, most reliable vehicle on the market. You buy it, take it home, and it seems to work reasonably well for about the first 10,000 miles. Then everything slowly but surely starts falling apart - the headlights stop working, the door sticks, the radiator starts leaking fluid.

You go back to the dealer and ask for repairs, and they tell you "Don't worry, it's all for the best, it will be o.k." You return home, and it just gets worse: the stater motor dies, the transmission starts grinding the gears, and finally the brakes start to fail. You go back to the dealer, call the car maker, yell and scream and their response is: "Tough S*@!. If you don't like it, you'll have to wait another 3 years and then you can return your broken down POS!"

Kind of puts things in perspective, doesn't it?

Promise - my next post will be all happy and shiny, full of dancing, singing kittens!

Celtics Suck!! Beat L.A.!! - It's Going to Be Glorious... Glorious I Say!!

Got sidetracked from my earlier post tying together Agassi, Kobe, and McClellan. I have bigger fish to fry now.

This is it baby. the big smackdown. The David Stern "I swear my league isn't fixed but boy this will do wonders for the ratings" Ultimate Match-Up.

I've been waiting 22 years for this. Last time around, my buddy Farhad and I were dancing around in front of his TV putting voodoo curses on Dennis Johnson as he bricked a free throw.

It was baby skyhooks vs. the Hick from French Lick. Showtime vs. the "Ugliest Team Known to Man" (seriously - the current Celtics team is a freakin' GQ show compared the fugliness that hit the court in the 1980s):

No offense intended to DJ (R.I.P.) but he was the only normal looking one out there.

Now we've got

- Kobe vs. KG

- Phil vs. the ghost of Red (smoking chiba vs. smoking cigars).

- Nicholson vs. ??? an Affleck maybe? Someone please tell me who the celebrity Celts fans are these days; and no Tom Brady and his model o' the month do not count.

- Me vs. my girlfriend - you can claim to have loved the Lakers first hon, but as soon as you went Celtics green... there's no turning back. LakerNation will does not abide turncoats! (yep - I'll be spending a few nights on the couch with the cats)


Lakes vs. Celts

Let the smack fly!

Kobe, McClellan and Andre Agassi?

Andre was right: image is everything











Aside from this giving me an excuse to track down one of the best examples of late 80s mulleterifficness, Andre's catchphrase is a useful starting point for thinking about our obsession with rehabilitating the "image" of our public figures.

Two extremely fresh examples of this:




Kobe Bryant and Scott McClellan are at two different points in long standing image rehabilitation campaigns. What I find interesting is that these two people with seemingly so little in common, aside from showing up on my various RSS feeds this morning, both find themselves being subjected to the age old question as to whether "good behavior" by those in the public eye is motivated by genuine contrition and understanding of prior wrongs, or simply shrewd manipulation of the media machine.

The ol' computer is dying a bit right now, so I'll be commenting on this point more por la manana. But check the two stories linked above and feel free to comment.

MMMMMM - more shmeat please

A great series in the Washington Post looking at the various angles of the global food supply, intersection with energy costs, political instability, domestic politics, etc.

So as the world descends into turmoil, and a Whopper tops out at $8, a hungry nation turns its eyes to guys in white lab coats. And here's what they've come up with:












NPR asks: Shmeat - its whats for dinner?

Surging Optimism?

A very well-reasoned piece from this month's Foreign Affairs laying out the continuing follies of our military and diplomatic strategy in Iraq. As laid out by Steven Simon, the Bush Administration's touting of the "troop surge" as the key to a stable Iraq

"fails to account for any sustainable plan for building a viable Iraqi state and may even have made such an outcome less likely -- by stoking the revanchist fantasies of Sunni tribes and pitting them against the central government. The recent short-term gains have thus come at the expense of the long-term goal of a stable, unitary Iraq."

If the anonymous Administration sources quoted in this piece are to be believed, the White House and DoD are once again ignoring the concerns of the career diplomats and foreign affairs experts at State and agencies regarding the medium and long term impacts of strengthening the Sunni tribal leaders without making strong efforts to encourage / demand their integration into the political process.

Looks like McCain's line about 100 years might not be too far off of the mark if we continue down this road...

And Now for Something Completely Stupid...

Being the good Coen Bros geek that I am, I truly loved No Country for Old Men, moral ambiguity, Bardem wig freakiness, abrupt ending and all.

And this was truly my favorite scene... That said - this kind of puts the melodrama of the whole thing in perspective.



No Country For Gay Men from Lawrence Scaduto on Vimeo.

Immigrants Partying Hard!

From Today's Washington Post

Detainees Drugged For Deportation

This is just plain ridiculous... are they seriously offering up "exciting travel opportunities" to nurses willing to drug people w/ psychotropics (ie Haldol) while they are shipped out of the country?

Mind you, I completely agree that if there is a safety issue (i.e. big, crazed dude flailing about and threatening to kill people) sedation might be appropriate, but this is just getting waaaay too Clockwork Orange to ignore.

Just another example of the "casual brutality" that seems to have infected our foreign relations of late.

Self Glorification V 2.0

I just couldn't leave it be.

Deep down, in the darkest recesses of my soul, I knew that the world still cries out for yet another blog.

I hear it in the yearning, pleading voices of the children, the elderly, the mill workers, the veterans, the goat farmers, the fruitbats - o.k. this is devolving into a Python routine. Back to my point.

Suffice to say, Just...Your...Opinion...Man is back, because, well... because their are just too many odd, silly, maddening, and otherwise rantable goings on in the world. Someone's gotta bitch about them.

Of course I will strive to not be bitter and divisive, and occassionaly shed light on matters of import or at least amusement.

So there you have it. The beginnings of a new and... er... improved(?) blog from yours truly.

Let's see if I have the fortitude to sit down at the the keyboard on a regular basis and make this happen!